Human Relations Principle #23: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

(“How to criticize—and not be hated for it.”)

 

(This is the twenty-third in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

Calling attention to one’s mistakes indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism.

Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell the difference between failure and success in changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment. Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word “but”  and ending with a critical statement. The word “but” has the psychological effect of negating what was said before it. When we hear the word “but” our mind and body go into defensive mode preparing for the hurtful criticism that is to come. It is much more effective to change the word “but” to “and.”

How to help your children improve their grades and their self-confidence

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Human Relations Principle #22: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

(“If you must find fault, this is the way to begin.”)

 

(This is the twenty-second in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his or her work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing.

It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.

How Lincoln used tact and diplomacy to correct a General’s grave faults

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“I have never found that pay alone would either bring together or hold good people.

I think it was the game itself.”

~Harvey Firestone

 

 

Human Relations Principle #21: Throw down a challenge.

(“When nothing else works, try this.“)

(This is the twenty-first in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

When nothing else seems to work to motivate an individual or team, try throwing down a challenge. Here’s why:

  • Frederic Herzberg, one of the great behavioral scientists of the twentieth century, studied in depth the work attitudes of thousands of people ranging from factory workers to senior executives. The one major factor that motivated people was the work itself. If the work was exciting and interesting, the worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job.
  • Charles Schwab discovered that, The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.” The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit.

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Human Relations Principle #20: Dramatize your ideas.

Movies do it. TV does it.

Why don’t you do it?

 

(This is the twentieth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating the truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.

Choose a fresh approach—something new, something different—to get the other person intensely interested. Convey facts more vividly, more interestingly, more impressively, than pages of figures and mere talk.

You can dramatize your ideas in business or in any other aspect of your life. Dramatization even works with children as well.

How to get your children to pick up their toys . . .

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“A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason.”

~J.P. Morgan

 

 

Human Relations Principle #19: Appeal to the nobler motives.

(“An appeal that everybody likes.”)

(This is the nineteenth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

Dale Carnegie was reared on the edge of Jesse James country out in Missouri, and visited the James farm at Kearney, Missouri, where the son of Jesse James was then living. His wife told Dale stories of how Jesse robbed trains and held up banks and then gave money to the neighboring farmers to pay off their mortgages.

Jesse James probably regarded himself as an idealist at heart, just as Dutch Schultz, Al Capone and many other organized crime “godfathers” did generations later. The fact is that all people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation.

J.P. Morgan observed in one of his analytical interludes, that a person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one. The person will think of the real reason. You don’t need to emphasize that. But all of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good. So, in order to change a person’s decision or behavior, appeal to the nobler motives.

Here are some nobler motives that people hold dear . . . Read more

Do you receive as much appreciation as you deserve?

Do you give as much appreciation to others as they deserve?

Could there be a correlation?

 

Human Relations Principle #2: Give honest and sincere appreciation (or “The big secret of dealing with people.”)

(This is the second in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

William James said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Read more

We need to be exemplary communicators to succeed in business and life. Here are 4 vital tips to master the art and science of communication:

  1. Tailor Your Message to Your Audience
  2. Overcome Barriers to Understanding
  3. Develop Trust and Believability
  4. Choose the Right Medium

So, what do these 4 vital tips mean and how do you use them to improve your communication?

1.  Tailor Your Message to Your Audience

Know your audience. People prefer to receive information and to learn in different ways. Some people are more:

  • Visual, preferring to see information in pictures or graphics.
  • Auditory, preferring to have a two-way dialogue.
  • Kinesthetic, preferring to get their hands on and work physically with the information.
  • Creative (right-brain dominant), being energized by working with abstract concepts that result in something new being formed.
  • Analytic (left-brain dominant), being energized by getting into the nitty-gritty details and crossing all the “t’s” and dotting all the “i’s.”

2.  Overcome Barriers to Understanding

A person’s perception is their reality—their truth—until new understanding happens. It is our responsibility as communicators to assure that people are understanding what we are attempting to communicate—that what we are saying is making it through their built-in filtering system and barriers.

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As the year winds down, it’s great to understand where you’ve been, enjoy where you are, and see where you’re going. See the “3 end-of-year rituals that are sure to energize your business” after the special announcement.

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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

If you own a business or are thinking of owning a business, here’s an exciting opportunity for you to create a great 2018…

 

A Strategic Planning Process

that Energizes Your Business

facilitated by Ray Madaghiele

5:30 to 7:50 p.m. Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Tempe Public Library

I will teach the art and science of facilitating an inspiring strategic planning process for your business. You will be guided to determine the best way to proceed with your own custom-designed strategic planning process for your unique organization. You will learn how to:

  • Create an empowering culture in which your people are focused on what matters most to the success of your organization
  • Gain enthusiastic support for your strategic plan
  • Strengthen accountability by creating alignment and buy-in throughout your organization

All attendees will receive a free participant guidebook and an autographed copy of my book, Energize Your Business: Engage Your Employees with an Inspiring Strategic Planning Process. Your investment is only $25 (all proceeds go to the Greater Phoenix SCORE to support their many services for business owners).

Click here to register at Greater Phoenix SCORE

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Here are 3 end-of-year rituals that are sure to energize your business:

  1. Reflect on the Past
  2. Celebrate the Present
  3. Project into the Future

Several sure-fire tips to execute these three rituals in your organization…

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Business Energizers Logo, copyright Business Energizers, a division of Lynray Inc.

Branding and marketing matters for how your customers view you and your business. How long has it been since you took a fresh look at your business presence?

I was meeting with a marketing friend, named Bill, the end of last year. He looked at some of my branding and marketing materials and asked when they were created. “Some of it is over 10 years old,” I said. “They look it,” he said. Ouch!

That began our refreshment adventure. Nine months later (about the same time to birth a baby) we have created a new branding look, updated copy, website, and marketing materials. It was an enlightening, clarifying process that helped me to better understand the value we offer to our customers. Well worth the investment of time and money.

Here’s the process Bill guided me through:

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Disneyland Splash Mountain

Are you planning a family vacation to Disneyland this summer? If so, notice how they attend to the details of what makes you happy.

Disney understands what you, the customer, wants before you do.

Several years ago I attended a Disney seminar for leaders and was amazed at their organization’s attention to their customer’s needs and desires.

Disney employees exemplify what I call “The Diamond Rule: Strive honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.”

 

Here are some ways they understand you, their customer, intimately:

  • They minimize distractions and expedite check in at their hotels because they know your family’s nerves are frazzled from the long, exhausting trip to get there. They know the last thing you need is more stimulation at that moment.
  • You won’t find an outside newspaper for sale anywhere on their property because they know you have come there to escape the real world.
  • Every employee knows where the nearest restroom is because they know you have pushed your bladder to its limits and will need to make a mad dash to get there in time.
  • Trash receptacles are placed no more than 30 steps apart because they know just how long you are willing to hold onto your trash before dropping it.
  • Lines at each attraction twist and turn with their own suspenseful entertainment as you wait with anticipation so that you don’t mind very much how long it’s taking.
  • Disney employees are called “Cast Members” to remind them that when they enter the property “It’s show time!” and your family is their most important audience.

Disney’s philosophy in their own words (excerpts from the Disney Institute website)… Read more