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Practice Purity, Patience, and Purity

Twenty years ago, I learned a valuable life-principle for dealing with chaos and uncertainty that has helped me to better cope with 2020 by practicing purity, patience, and perseverance.

My three trips to an ashram in India from 1996 to 2001 continued to reinforce the importance of living this revitalizing triad of values. It has served me well especially when dealing with chaos and uncertainty like we are collectively experiencing today. Here is how you can feel greater confidence, comfort, and calm by applying the 3 P’s—purity, patience, and perseverance—to your life and business…

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Do values or principles matter anymore? If so, what is the most important value or principle you live by? Why?

For me, two intertwined principles seem to rise up from deep within our collective humanity during trying times such as these we are facing today—a global pandemic, widespread unemployment, and the recalibration of political, cultural, gender and racial justice. These principles have been my guiding light throughout my entire life especially during turbulent times.

Hope and Healing After 9-11-01

One such time I remember is the aftermath of the 9-11-01 events. I was inspired, at 45 years old, to pedal my vintage bicycle 3,369 miles in 70 days from Phoenix, Arizona, to Ground Zero, New York City to honor the heroes of 9-11. Supported by my wife, Lyn, we rolled across America and shared a powerful message of hope and healing with thousands of people across America. People shared heartwarming stories with us, grounded in timeless principles that can help each of us be more peaceful and joyful no matter what is happening in our lives and the world.

The Golden Rule principleThe Golden Rule

The principle that echoed the deepest in my heart and others’ hearts that I connected with during my bicycle journey—and has echoed again during this present chaotic time—is The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. This overreaching principle embodies values such as respect, caring, trust, honesty, and simply being nice.

 

The Diamond Rule principleThe Diamond Rule

Another equally powerful principle is the flip-side of the same coin. I call it The Diamond Rule: Strive honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. It means to walk a mile in another person’s moccasins to better understand their unique perspective. Read more

Clarify, Organize, Act, RealizeWant some relief during the stressful, chaotic times we are experiencing on a global scale? It helps me to remind myself that chaos is the catalyst for great opportunity, to strengthen strategic focus.

We can choose to be creators or reactors in life. A creative life is a joyful, expansive life. A reactive life is a stressful, diminishing life. When I find myself feeling emotionally and physically exhausted, I take a break from the chaos to refocus my attention onto something more satisfying—energizing future positive possibilities. It comforts me to remember that this too shall pass, so why not plan a rendezvous with the spectacular! Read more

Introduction

Are you looking to grow and expand your business and life? There’s and art and science to it. The art is choosing to create an intention (or goal) you love that is meaningful to you and others. The science is invoking the universal creation process to realize your inspired idea.

Invoking the 4-Phase Creation Process

Each of us has been born with the same power to create the reality we desire. In each moment, we get to choose to be a creator or a reactor in life. A creative life is a joyful, expansive life. A reactive life is a stressful, contractive life. As human beings, we feel most alive and energized when we are consciously creating something new.

If you are satisfied with what is showing up in your life, do more of that. If you don’t like what’s showing up, do something different to create a more satisfying experience. The four phases of creation to manifest any inspired idea or intention are:

  1. Imagine
  2. Visualize
  3. Expect
  4. Allow

Here’s what each of the phases entail. Read more

“Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.”

~Dale Carnegie

 

Human Relations Principle #18: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

(“What everybody wants.”)

(This is the eighteenth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

When we apologize and sympathize with others’ viewpoints, they tend to apologize and sympathize with ours.

Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is:

“I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”

And you can say that and be 100 percent sincere, because if you were the other person you, of course, would feel just as he or she does.

Remember, the people who come to you irritated, bigoted, unreasoning, deserve very little discredit for being what they are. Feel sorry for the poor devils. Pity them. Sympathize with them. Say to yourself: “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”

When you receive a troubling or condemning letter, email or text that you feel compelled to defend in anger. By all means write out your reply… but don’t send it. Sit on it for two days. Then take it out, read it, and notice that you most likely have less emotion around the situation and a whole new perspective. Probably a different approach, tone and course of action has come to mind that will better serve all concerned.

Dr. Arthur Gates, author of Educational Psychology, said . . . Read more

“Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other persons’ viewpoint.”

~Dale Carnegie

 

 

Human Relations Principle #17: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

(“A formula that will work wonders for you.”)

(This is the seventeenth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

Seeing things through another person’s eyes may ease tensions when personal problems become overwhelming.

There is a reason why the other person thinks and acts as he or she does. Ferret out that reason—and you have the key to their actions, perhaps to their personality. Try honestly to put yourself in his or her place.

Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people can try to do that.

Say to yourself, “How would I feel, how would I react if I were in his or her shoes?” You will save yourself time and irritation, for by becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect. And, in addition, you will sharply increase your skill in human relationships. Read more

“In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Human Relations Principle #16: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

(“How to get cooperation.”)

(This is the sixteenth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

The best way to convert a person to an idea is to plant it in their mind casually, but so as to interest them in it—so as to get them thinking about it on their own account.

No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.

Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter? If so, isn’t it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people? Isn’t it wiser to make suggestions—and let the other person think out the conclusion?

Sage Advice on Leadership from Lao-tse

Lao-tse, a Chinese sage, said, Read more

“If you want enemies, excel your friends;

but if you want friends,

let your friends excel you.”

~La Rochefoucauld, French philosopher

 

Human Relations Principle #15: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

(“The safety valve in handling complaints.”)

(This is the fifteenth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

Remember the old adage: the creator gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason—to do at least twice as much listening as we do talking.

Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problems than you do. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things. Read more

“He who treads softly goes far.”

~Chinese Proverb

 

 

 

 

Human Relations Principle #14: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

(“The secret of Socrates.”)

(This is the fourteenth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

It doesn’t pay to argue. It is much more profitable and much more interesting to look at things from the other person’s viewpoint and try to get that person saying “yes, yes.”

In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing—and keep on emphasizing—the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.

The skillful speaker, salesperson and politician gets, at the outset, a number of “Yes” responses. This is the psychological process of moving the listener in the affirmative direction.

Be as Persuasive as Socrates

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Abe Lincoln said, “If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling toward you, you can’t win him to your way of thinking with all the logic in Christendom. Scolding parents and domineering bosses and husbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don’t want to change their minds. They can’t be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.”

Human Relations Principle #13: Begin in a friendly way.

(“A drop of honey.”)

(This is the thirteenth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

The use of gentleness and friendliness is demonstrated day after day by people who have learned the old maxim that a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.

So with men [and women], if you would win a person to your cause, first convince him/her that you are his/her sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his/her heart; which, say what you will, is the great high road to his/her reason. Read more