Human Relations Principle #25 to Be a Leader
Human Relations Principle #25: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
(“No one likes to take orders.”)
(This is the twenty-fifth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*
To be an effective leader, ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
When we ask questions, instead of giving orders, we give people the opportunity to do things themselves instead of taking away their accountability by telling them to do things; let them do them, let them learn from their mistakes. Give suggestions, not orders by asking questions like:
- “Have you considered this . . . ?”
- “Do you think that . . . will work?”
- What do you think of this . . . ?
- Maybe if we were to do it this way . . . it would be better. What do you think?
A technique like that makes it easy for a person to correct errors. A technique like that saves a person’s pride and gives him or her a feeling of importance. It encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued. They are more apt to approach the situation with a “We can do it” attitude.
Be an effective leader by asking questions instead of giving direct orders.
Much success and fulfillment with mastering human relations,
Ray
* The best guide on effective human relations that I have ever encountered is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936. Prior to writing the book, Carnegie spent 20 years researching the habits of successful people. The book has sold over 30 million copies and is still listed on Amazon’s top 100 best selling books.
Other articles within this series you may enjoy:
3 Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Human Relations Principle #1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Human Relations Principle #2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Human Relations Principle #3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
6 Ways to Make People Like You
- Human Relations Principle #4: Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Human Relations Principle #5: Smile.
- Human Relations Principle #6: Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Human Relations Principle #7: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Human Relations Principle #8: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Human Relations Principle #9: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
12 Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- Human Relations Principle #10: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Human Relations Principle #11: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
- Human Relations Principle #12: If your are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Human Relations Principle #13: Begin in a friendly way.
- Human Relations Principle #14: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Human Relations Principle #15: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Human Relations Principle #16: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Human Relations Principle #17: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Human Relations Principle #18: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Human Relations Principle #19: Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Human Relations Principle #20: Dramatize your ideas.
- Human Relations Principle #21: Throw down a challenge.
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