Human Relations Principle #30 to Be a Leader

Human Relations Principle #30: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

(“Make people glad to do what you want.”)

(This is the thirtieth in a series of articles where I will encapsulate each of Dale Carnegie’s timeless, life-changing principles for dealing with people. (Adapted from How to Win Friends and Influence People.))*

Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Statesmen and diplomats aren’t the only ones who use this make-a-person-happy-to-do-things-you-want-them-to-do approach.

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:

1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.
4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he or she personally will benefit.

How Napoleon mastered this principle . . .

Childish? Perhaps. But that is what they said to Napoleon when he created the Legion of Honor and distributed 15,000 crosses to his soldiers and made eighteen of his generals “Marshals of France” and called his troops the “Grand Army.” Napoleon was criticized for giving “toys” to war-hardened veterans, and Napoleon replied, “Men are ruled by toys.”

This technique of giving titles and authority worked for Napoleon and it will work for you.

People are more likely to do what you would like them to do when you make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest—causing you to be happier as well.

Enjoy!

Much success and fulfillment with mastering human relations,

Ray

 

* The best guide on effective human relations that I have ever encountered is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936. Prior to writing the book, Carnegie spent 20 years researching the habits of successful people. The book has sold over 30 million copies and is still listed on Amazon’s top 100 best selling books.

Other articles within this series you may enjoy:

3 Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

• Human Relations Principle #1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
• Human Relations Principle #2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Human Relations Principle #3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

6 Ways to Make People Like You

• Human Relations Principle #4: Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Human Relations Principle #5: Smile.
• Human Relations Principle #6: Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
• Human Relations Principle #7: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Human Relations Principle #8: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Human Relations Principle #9: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

12 Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

• Human Relations Principle #10: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Human Relations Principle #11: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
• Human Relations Principle #12: If your are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Human Relations Principle #13: Begin in a friendly way.
• Human Relations Principle #14: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
• Human Relations Principle #15: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Human Relations Principle #16: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Human Relations Principle #17: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Human Relations Principle #18: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Human Relations Principle #19: Appeal to the nobler motives.
• Human Relations Principle #20: Dramatize your ideas.
• Human Relations Principle #21: Throw down a challenge.

9 Ways to Be a Leader:

How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

• Human Relations Principle #22: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
• Human Relations Principle #23: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
• Human Relations Principle #24: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
• Human Relations Principle #25: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
• Human Relations Principle #26: Let the other person save face.
• Human Relations Principle #27: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
• Human Relations Principle #28: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
• Human Relations Principle #29: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.